Ever see signs like your supposed to be doing something else and then you ignore it. Or better yet, you keep looking for a sign to give you some sense of direction and it’s literally right there. But you keep ignoring it? I think that’s where I am right now. But it’s all my doing.
How is that?
Because I’m thinking it. I keep thinking oh, I need a sign to let me know how I’m doing; but I’m so bad at deciphering signs I’ll never get it. That’s it. I’ll never get it. That kind of thinking will keep me exactly where I am right now. I realize that. I’ve known that. Sometimes I even think that my default way of thinking about anything is the negative first. I always put myself down and don’t give myself enough credit. But when it comes to anyone else I am their biggest fan.
I need to do better. I will do better. On Sunday, I feel like God gave me three signs. I passed them off a bit as just; ‘Yeah I know that’s a sign but what are you really saying?’ or ‘Yeah, I know – but I still don’t know what I’m supposed to do?’ I even told my live-in boyfriend about it (who I’ve been kind of hammering down daily with the ‘what am I supposed to do with my life questions’). Here’s the thing though, before I went to sleep I came across two blogs that spoke about manifestation. Positive manifestation and praying to God. It was like my other sign. Literally, I’m getting goosebumps writing about it. I read some of their most recent posts. Then I went to sleep. I woke up feeling refreshed and inspired to do more. Be a better version of myself.
Unconsciously, I’ve been letting those signs marinate in my head and I realize that I’m only hurting myself. I’ve only really dabbled consciously in the Law of Attraction but I understand that I’ve been doing it my whole life.
Now I’m going to try my hardest to manifest the life that I want. Starting with Loving my self. I tear up while writing this because for me it’s a big deal. I shouldn’t down my self ever. And yet I do it so much it’s become something normal. Which is why I am where I am right now. But that stops right now. I will work constantly to ‘smile’ more. I will tell myself everyday I am beautiful, I am strong, everything good happens to me. I am a great a person. Everyday I will read more about loving myself. Thinking positive thought and just being happy.
Even if something at work pissed me off. I’ll force a smile. I’ll change the wave of whatever I would normally feel. I know it’s not going to be easy but really, I’m convinced it can be. I just need to believe it.
Because I will it.
Featured Image via cloudimind on Tumblr.